Avoid Christmas family arguments with genius phrase if someone gaslights you

'Tis the season for getting the family together, and while it can be wonderful, many families will find themselves arguing this Christmas Day.

From cheating at board games, where to sit at the diner table, and having heated debates about topics you wish you'd never brought up, bickering with a loved one is common on the big day.

A survey of 2,000 adults who celebrate Christmas found that while 83% are excited about spending time with their loved ones over the festive break, 43% are preparing themselves for potential arguments. In the top 30 list of light-hearted disputes, there is disagreements over the house temperature, whether gadgets should be allowed at the dinner table, and when presents should be opened.

Others include someone interfering with cooking and old feuds getting aired out. Plus, one manipulative behaviour that can come out at Christmas, is gaslighting. Sadly it's a tactic that a lot of people resort to when there is heightened stress or long-established tensions.

According to Cambridge Dictionary, it is defined as 'the action of tricking or controlling someone by making them believe things that are not true, especially by suggesting that they may be mentally ill'. For example: 'His gaslighting was a deliberate attempt to convince her that she was losing her grasp on reality'.

It can often lead to confusion or leave someone uncertain about their emotions. If you want to avoid these patterns this Christmas when having to deal with a disruptive loved one, a viral lawyer has shared exactly what to do.

Jefferson Fisher, who boats a whopping 1.2million followers on TikTok, said when someone gaslights you, you should respond with "as little as possible". Fisher, who dubs himself an argument expert, explained: "A gaslighter's whole goal is to distract you and make you chase every other issue but the real one as if you're the cat and they have the laser point."

He added: "So, the less you say, the less you chase."

Jefferson's second trick is to repeat a phrase over and over to acknowledge what the gaslighter is saying. He explained: "So when that gaslighter says 'you're being crazy right now' – instead of chasing it and saying 'crazy? How am I crazy?' you're going to repeat the phrase of acknowledgement, 'I understand you disagree with me'," he explained.

"When you repeat it keeps you from chasing," he noted. The lawyer also said that instead of immediately saying 'that didn't happen' when a family member exaggerates or lies about something that happened, he said you should repeat the phrase 'I see things differently'. He says you can repeat it as many times as you need and this will allow you to stay in control.

One individual commented on the advice video, and said: "This is great! I also learned to hold eye contact while saying nothing. Let the silence get real uncomfortable...people will back peddle."

"'I see things differently' is going to help me immensely," said another. "I see things differently, I love that," wrote one other. "I needed this today," said another.

Another suggested: "Don't say anything, but, roll your eyes. Will always tick them off." One other offered their suggestion, and wrote: "I end the conversation immediately. I say I'll talk to you later, bye! and I don't say it in a sarcastic tone. I say it in a very calm normal voice."

Will you be trying this, this Christmas? Comment below.